Applied Chaos: Analyze. Visualize. Conceptualize. Realize.

Attraction or Distraction?

2009-01-20T10:39:00.007-05:00

I'm writing this while watching CNN on my PC, and CBS on the television. Like so many in the country, I should be working. But who can work while the country, and possibly the world, is pausing to take in this amazing moment in contemporary history, as Barack Obama is soon to be sworn into the office of the President?

What is really going on here, from a creative standpoint? Am I procrastinating? Getting distracted? Goofing off? Should I turn off everything and get back to work?

Not a chance.

Those words -- procrastination, distraction, goofing off -- describe a negative, blocked energy, and are not at all descriptive of the energy that is filling my heart at the moment. No, the correct word is "attraction". I am attracted to this event. I am choosing to connect to the joy, anticipation, enthusiasm, hope, and so many other profound human emotions evoked by all that I am seeing and hearing.

It is important to understand the distinction between attraction and distraction. Distraction pulls you away from your priorities, diminishes your energies, and dilutes your efforts. Attraction realigns your priorities, increases your energies, and informs your efforts.

Mindfully giving yourself permission to follow your heart is like planting seeds. If you want more red flowers in your garden, you plant more red flower seeds. Obviously, those seeds may not grow. And if you already have red flowers, they may reseed and multiply in that way, making it seem as if your planting efforts were redundant. But adding the seeds (or seedlings) to your garden increases the probabilities that you will achieve your desired outcome, and decrease your dependence on luck or the benevolence of the universe.

In that way, if you want more joy in your life, whenever possible, choose actions and experiences that give you joy. You may not get that joy in the form you expected it, but you will increase joyful experiences. You will increase your knowledge of what joy feels like, and thereby improve your chances of recognizing it the next time it comes along.

The difference between attraction and distraction is observable in your own energy level. Sitting by the pool and drinking a beer may bring a measure of relaxation and pleasure to your life. But will you be able to take something from the experience and then approach your work with renewed vigor and creativity? Sometimes, that answer is a resounding "yes!" (but beer usually has the opposite effect on me.)

I am sure that in a few hours, in the after glow of these shared moments of suspended disbelief, we will all get back to work richer for having been attracted to this experience. And our work will be richer, too, resonant with echoes of hope, joy, and transformation.

Table of contents for Bush Series

2009-01-18T19:55:00.004-05:00

Blogger publishes by date, so here is a list of the Bush Administration posts in order:

The Last Ten Days: G.W. Bush's Contribution to the Arts

#10: Poetry

#9: Historical Fiction

#8: Film/ Documentary

2009-01-18T05:00:00.002-05:00

So here we are, just two days before the Bush Administration formerly closes its show, and we bid adieu to this most artful cast of characters. Bush's final speech delivered, he takes his bows and like all artists, will let history decide the merits. In that rather surreal speech, he declares:

America must maintain our moral clarity. I've often spoken to you about good and evil, and this has made some uncomfortable. But good and evil are present in this world, and between the two of them there can be no compromise. Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere. Freeing people from oppression and despair is eternally right. This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth. We must always be willing to act in their defense — and to advance the cause of peace.

My definition of art is simple: I come to the work of someone's hands, someone's life, with an open mind. If I leave that work and start seeing the world in a different way, I have encountered a work of art.

Do you remember the dark days following 9/11? Do you remember the gentleness with which people treated each other? Do you remember the goodwill extended to our country by so many in the world? Did I imagine that we all felt for a time particularly aware of the value of a single

human life?

Do you remember the "Wanted Dead or Alive" speech? Do you remember the first time some Boston driver flipped you the bird, and you realized the moment of grace had passed?

Can there be any doubt that we experienced a work of art? More Hieronymus Bosch than Michelangelo, but hey, we don't have to like it to recognize it when we see it.

Can we believe in Barack Obama? Can we believe that we have finally shattered a glass ceiling for millions of Americans? Can we heal from these surreal years, this insane war, and the lunatic greed that has sent our economy reeling? Can we rise to this opportunity and get back to the innovation, creativity, business savvy, and compassionate spirit of service to the world community that has made the United States such a great place to live?

Hell, no. But maybe, if we suspend disbelief, and open our minds on Tuesday, we might dust off our moral clarity and demand a higher quality artistic experience from this next troupe. We might even participate ourselves.

We have born witness to a most bizarre, surreal chapter in American history. I prefer the Renaissance.

So, speaking of surreal, I give you my vote for the #1 artistic contribution of the Bush Administration. This musical number, sung by Guy Hovis (of Lawrence Welk fame) at the second Bush inauguration, was actually made famous through the composer's own performance of the piece at the Gordon Theological Seminary. Although the recording didn't go platinum, the video went viral, and the comedians went wild. And the winner of the music category is:

Singer/Songwriter John Ashcroft for "Let The Eagle Soar".

And I swear to all that is good in postmodernism, that if someone proposes to make this the National Anthem, I will move to Australia.

#2: Non-fiction

2009-01-17T05:00:00.002-05:00

"I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we too, will be remembered not for our victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit."
-President John F. Kennedy

Bush's achievements in the realm of making Art should not overshadow his contributions in support of the Arts. Take, for example, his dedication to the Kennedy Center.

The Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, our national theatre, has a long legacy supporting J.F.K's vision. With programs 365 days a year by new and recognized performers alike, reaching out to other nations and cultures and providing rich educational programs, this "living memorial" to President Kennedy the Center has enlivened our culture and enriched untold lives.

In 2005, concerned about persistent budget overruns on several large capital repair and improvement projects at the Kennedy Center, the GAO conducted a review of how the $200 million in appropriations during 1995-2005 had been spent. (Compare that to the $24 billion spent from 2003-2005 for "security and reconstruction activities" in Iraq. Not exactly in line with Kennedy's priorities... but I digress.) The GAO reached the conclusion that the Kennedy Center Board of Trustees must "strengthen oversight of center management through the Board of Trustees..."

How could it be that the Board wasn't strong enough to oversee the budget? After all, George Bush appointed a new Trustee to the operations committee: the world renowned horse meat activist, author, three-time Razzie Award winner for worst actress (also nominated for Worst Actress of the Century, which she lost to Madonna), and host of AMC's "The Hollywood Fashion Machine", none other than Bo Derek.

Now stop sniggering. According to the "Official Bo Derek Website":

"she accidentally began to shed her blond bimbo image and emerge as a political conservative, when she campaigned successfully for George W. Bush during the 2000 Presidential campaign."

There, now. See how well George Bush understands Art's contributions to the human spirit?

#3: More Fiction

2009-01-16T05:00:00.001-05:00

Former Ambassador Joseph Wilson wrote a controversial piece in the New York Times titled "What I Didn't Find in Africa", in which he asserted that the Bush Administration twisted intelligence to "exaggerate the Iraqi threat."

And then we learned that Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, was a covert CIA operative -- rather mooting the "covert" point of her job.

An investigation ensued. Fingers were pointed, and Cheney's office began to take some heat. An aide became human asbestos. According to his testimony in his case, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby (formerly Chief of Staff for Vice President Cheney and assistant to President Bush) was authorized to disclose information that "was intended to rebut the allegations of an administration critic, former ambassador Joseph Wilson" -- classified information that Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, was a CIA agent.

Libby was convicted and faced 30 months in prison for obstructing the investigation. No one was charged with the crime of releasing classified information.

Now, given the gravity of the situation -- the specter of our nation's post-9/11 moral authority frittered away by going to war under false pretences; the country at war and lives lost to stop Iraq from exporting or using weapons of mass destruction that may never have existed; the allegations of the Administration feeding false information to the press; allegations of treason; the possibility that a well-informed detractor's family was being threatened by the Administration; and a potential smoking gun pointing right at Cheney (for a change) -- well, something had to be done.

What would you do, in the middle of this dark night of the soul? Libby did what any God-fearing, upright Republican citizen would do: he published a book. He reissued his one and only novel, complete with publicity tour, less than three months after his conviction.

And what a perfect book for the job! I won't quote from it, because I would have to change the "adult content" setting on my blog. Suffice it to say that it contains media-distracting, stomach churning scenes of bestiality, child prostitution, pedophilia, necrophilia... the list goes on. The press ate it up. Copies sold on eBay for stratospheric amounts. And predictably, public debate moved from treason and weapons of mass destruction to topics beloved by one and all: right wing dirty books.

The Administration was apparently satisfied. Bush commuted Libby's sentence to a $250,000 fine, calling the original sentence of 30 months in prison "excessive".

And Libby's book? It is still in print, though you can now buy a used copy on Amazon.com for as little as one cent. An excellent example of the Art of Fiction as Smokescreen -- and well worth the price.

#4: The Big Screen

2009-01-15T05:00:00.000-05:00

While former Presidents have been members of the Hasty Pudding Club, while former Presidents have even, in fact, been bad actors, as far as I know no other administration has been given a trophy for it.

In another ground-breaking work of art, United States president George W. Bush, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice won Razzies for their appearances in the 2004 Michael Moore documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. Bush won Worst Actor and shared the Worst Screen Couple Award with Rice and "his pet goat", while Rumsfeld won Worst Supporting Actor.

Rice lost to Britney Spears for Worst Supporting Actress.

#5: Sculpture

2009-01-14T05:00:00.001-05:00

This sculpture in the Renwick appears to be a grandfather clock covered by a sheet. Standing right next to it, I found myself asking what Art was inherent in throwing a sheet over a clock. I mean, it seems so obvious. Then my eyes opened, and I really saw what I was looking at. The artist, Wendell Castle, carved this eerie, haunting sculpture from natural and bleached mahogany. The sheet is wood; the clock is not a clock. A completely effective, literally timeless trompe l'oeil, that rises to the level of art by challenging us to carefully consider the validity of the conclusions based on our senses.

How similar the work of John Aschcroft seems to me, now. Although Justice Department spokespeople insist he knew nothing about it, his clear consternation about being photographed in front of the semi-nude statue
"Spirit of Justice" in the Great Hall of the Justice Department prompted someone to first rent($2000 each event), and then purchase (for $8000) drapes to provide a less distracting backdrop for the cameras.

As I watched him deliver speeches in support of proposals that would encourage citizens to spy on each other (Operation TIPS), and other initiatives that would permit police to spy on domestic groups, and conduct searches without a court order under some circumstances, my eyes drifted to the drapery shielding "The Spirit of Justice" and "The Majesty of Law" from the proceedings.

And my eyes opened, and I really saw what I was looking at. A completely effective statement that rises to the level of Art by challenging us to carefully consider the validity of his conclusions based on our sense.

Ashton and the "Spirit of Justice"

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm

(Like so many of the Bush artists, Mr. Aschroft inspired others to produce derivative works. Enjoy the two examples below, both of which, mysteriously, come to the same conclusion.)

http://www.tompaxton.com/lyric_ashcroft.html

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/valentine.asp

#6: Set Design

2009-01-13T05:00:00.001-05:00

First, a quick note. I'm surprised, given the particular bent of so many of my readers, that no one has yet observed that I am off on my countdown. So, whether you weren't paying attention, or have already intuited my intention -- I just wanted to note that my timing is intentional. I had hoped to make a little joke and an observation, but since no one has taken the bait, I'll go straight to the observation.

On January 19, while we are still on GW's watch, we all have the opportunity, regardless of our politics, to celebrate a day of healing, restoration, and recommitment to our country and our communities. On the last full day of the Bush Adminstration, on Martin Luther King's day, on the day before Barack Obama is sworn into office, we can volunteer to work together in community service.

There is a great database where you can create your own event or celebration: http://www.usaservice.org/page/event/create

And on the same website, you can enter your zipcode and search & sign up for events in your neighborhood. I found 100 events within 50 miles of Concord.

http://www.usaservice.org/page/content/eventsearch

For those of us who really want to see the soul, the people, and the economy of our country restored to health and balance, I truly believe the best way to begin -- short of starting a new business -- is to join one of these local initiatives, or start one of your own. Find a meaningful way of giving back -- in joy, in generosity, in love.

So, I plan to be done by January 19th, because I don't want to be looking backward anymore at what might have been. I plan to be part of something great. I hope you'll be there, too.

Then again, it might be more fun to contemplate a career switch to set design. A discipline formerly reserved for theater and movie professionals, set design has

been elevated by the Bush Administration to a very important role in domestic politics.

As a political set designer, one might be called upon to devise fancy photo-realistic backdrops, complete with illusory shelves stocked with images of boxes stamped "Made in America". Or slap sheets of paper over the "Made in China" labels on actual cardboard boxes . Props of this sort are needed to more effectively persuade the cameras of our healthy manufacturing economy -- actual "Made in America" boxes, apparently, being rather difficult to find.

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines03/0122-10.htm
"Strengthening America's Economy"

#7: Philosophy

2009-01-12T05:00:00.003-05:00

While the Clinton administration's primary contribution to the field of philosophy was in the metaphysical realm, (challenging our ontological notions of "is"), the Bush Administration's contributions have been much more wide-ranging, challenging the relationships between truth, belief and justification; our morality and conceptions of ethical truth; our logic; our use of language; and our concepts of aesthetics. And, as if that weren't enough, the Administration invited us, often without our permission, to reconsider our precepts of justice, law and the rights of citizens.

It is in this last area that the Bush Administration has sparked the greatest debates. Pundits, the Supreme Court and a host of artists, educators and writers have taken up the challenges, producing many works of art in the process.

Today, I'd like to recognize Mary Beth Buchanan and her able sidekick Mary Houghton for their roles in forwarding the American notion of justice and personal responsibility to realms heretofore unimagined by any artist, legislator, author, or filmmaker.

The short form is that Tommy Chong (yes, him) was arrested for and pleaded guilty to being on the board of a bong-making company that was caught up in the DEA crackdown on drug paraphernalia retailers called "Operation Pipe Dreams".

Mary Beth Buchanan and Mary Houghton prosecuted the cooperative Chong, and managed to persuade a judge to incarcerate the evil genius for 9 months. And the reason he was singled out for special attention among all the 55 individuals swept up in the sting? Apparently unclear on the difference between an actor and the character he plays, our fearless government crusaders thought he should be taught a lesson for impersonating a stoner.

Chong, Houghton contended, had become wealthy by “glamorizing the illegal use and distribution of marijuana and trivializing law-enforcement efforts to combat drug use.” http://www.laweekly.com/2003-12-04/news/chong-family-values "

Tommy Chong, inspired by the life-altering and utterly surreal artistic potential in his situation, graced us with a remarkable work of philosophical discourse, and our #7 -- The I Chong: Meditations from the Joint. From Amazon:

The I Chong is at once a memoir, a spiritual exploration of his time in prison, and a political indictment of the eroding civil liberties in post-9/11 American society.

Heady reading.

#8: Film/ Documentary

2009-01-11T05:00:00.001-05:00

The Bush Administration forged new ground in film on two fronts: documentary and interactive video, with a single production: Stoners in the Mist. (The link will take you to the full version, complete with interactive map, quizzes, and a game "Mission to Cannabis Isle.")

The script (which is available for download on the site) for this masterpiece contains captivating, insightful narrative. Some examples:

PROFESSOR PUCK: "The stoner's fascinating courtship rituals highlight the extreme difficulty these animals have fitting into other social groups."
PROFESSOR PUCK (V.O.):
"Shocking… the creatures are docile and unresponsive, to the point of helplessness..."

If you don't have time to experience the full production, the trailer below will give you a sense of the compelling acting, scintillating script, and sensitive, compassionate handling of the topic.

If the dark realities portrayed in this film are genuine threats to America's youth, surely the cost to produce such important works of art can be justified. So let's see what we can find from the "Office of the National Drug Control Policy". The budget justification makes interesting reading.

According to this document "the Media Campaign’s goal is to influence perceptions and beliefs about drug use so that they, in turn, change youth and parental intent regarding drug use." There is no expressed intent to accurately characterize the risks and benfits of drug use. So, the gloomy generalities, ad hominem attacks, labelling, dysphemisms, name-calling, slogans, repetition, stereotyping, and other logical fallacies characteristic of the script are, therefore, irrelevant, and to be tolerated in the name of Art, and the service of the higher mission of the Media Campaign. (And the expenditures were authorized by Congress, so please, no more discussion about government sponsored propaganda.)

So what about that mission?

In FY 2007, 64 percent of youth ages 12-18 recalled exposure to weekly anti-drug messages with a higher percent, 77%, recognizing the “Above the Influence” brand.
Media Campaign PART Review
Year of Last Review: 2003 Rating Received: Results Not Demonstrated

Purpose: 100
Planning: 67
Management: 70
Results: 6

Highlights: Improvements in planning and management have occurred, however there is little evidence of direct favorable campaign affects on youth; there is evidence of some favorable affects on parents.

Cost?

FY 2008: $60 million

Future costs?

FY 2009: $100 million, proposed

Analysis of cost/benefit ratio: The Adventures of Pluto Nash, anyone?

#9: Historical Fiction

2009-01-10T05:00:00.003-05:00

The Bush Administration was a powerhouse of American Fiction, and pushed the genre deep into new forms, including memos, news briefings, and speeches. Today, I would like to single out a book which, though it was not written during the administration, proved to be a singular example of the power of the President to control the literary experience of millions of Americans.

I refer, of course, to the work of Lynne Cheney.

The White House is, of course, justifiably proud of the literary achievements of Mrs. Cheney, listing them in great detail on the website:

Mrs. Cheney has written five bestselling books about American history for children and their families, and well over a million copies of these books are in print. The first, America: A Patriotic Primer... The second, A Is for Abigail: An Almanac of Amazing American Women... The third, When Washington Crossed the Delaware: A Wintertime Story for Young Patriots... The fourth, A Time for Freedom: What Happened When in America...The fifth, Our 50 States: A Family Adventure Across America...Her most recent book, We the People: The Story of Our Constitution (2008), chronicles the events of the summer of 1787 and the remarkable process by which America’s Founding Fathers framed the Constitution - a document that, in Mrs. Cheney’s words, “created our nation and offered a vision of ordered liberty to all the world.”

How peculiar that nowhere on the site is the one book which propelled the writing talents of Mrs. Cheney into the forefront of American conciousness! A work of historical fiction so much in demand that trade paperback version commands from $67 to $295 at this writing on Amazon. An autographed version sold for $1500 on eBay. And yet, no mention on the Whitehouse site. Sadly, this jewel that redefined the bosum-ripper is no longer in print, no publisher willing to challenge Mrs. Cheney's assertion that this was not her best work.

I quote a few examples of the raw, human energy in the novel. If you hunger for more of this rapacious prose, I direct you to the full text of the book, generously made available at no charge by that OTHER White House site: Full text of Sisters from Whitehouse.org.

...She tried to steel herself, control her revulsion. All her instincts demanded that she fight him, that she kick, bite, anything to push him away, to get his hands off her. But her mind was moving rapidly. What would happen if she did? It wouldn't change the outcome, merely delay it and bring her more pain and injury. She tried drawing within herself to a place he couldn't touch, to a place from which she could watch him and hate him with a pure and unalloyed hatred.

..."The sampler you have began with Mrs. Barbauld's hymn--know it will be a gift I shall treasure always. How well her words describe our love--or the way it would be if we could remove all impediments, leave this place, and join together as the Ladies of Llangollen did. Then our union would be complete. Our lives would flow together, twin streams merging into a single river."

...“Julia wasn’t Joe’s child, she was Emile’s. And you were Emile’s child too. That’s why you couldn’t marry. You were half-brother and half-sister. That’s why you couldn’t marry. You were half-brother and half-sister, you and my mother.”

Mrs. Chaney denies that this work depicts lesbian sex or rape -- an excellent illustration of the Administration's knack for historical fiction.

Our count down continues tomorrow with #8 - Film.

The Last Ten Days: G.W. Bush's Contribution to the Arts

2009-01-09T15:45:00.004-05:00

As we enter the final days of the Bush administration, let us pause to reflect on the significant contributions this administration has made to the arts. While John Kennedy's administration merely supported the work of other artists -- introducing us to the likes of Pablo Casals, Mahalia Jackson, Jerome Robbins Ballet, and Robert Frost -- members of this administration were involved with the Arts in a more direct and personal fashion. Though the creative endeavors inspired by his presidency or authored by his cohort constitute an ephemeral legacy, study of them may inspire you, gentle reader, to higher pursuits.

I present, at the rate of one per day for each of these last ten days, the top examples of this artistic powerhouse.

#10: Poetry

2009-01-09T10:01:00.015-05:00

Dana Gioia, who wrote three volumes of poetry before taking his post as the chair of the NEA would be the obvious choice here. Except that he hasn't published any more poetry since joining the Bush administration.

No, the best representation of poetry in the Bush administration is exemplified by the under-appreciated poems of D.H. Rumsfeld. This remarkable body of work came to light at the hands of Hart Seely, and published in a slim volume entitled Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld.

While he occasionally indulges in a sonnet, Mr. Rumsfeld is clearly not a member of Mr. Gioia's New Formalist school. Rather offers his visions and insights in various forms of free verse and haiku. Procuring a copy of this increasingly rare edition may prove difficult, so a few examples follow:

The Barnyard
Where's the barnyard?
I see literally dozens and dozens
And dozens of pieces of intelligence every day.
And if you tool all of those scraps
and looked at them,
The first conclusion you would reach
Is that they don't agree.
And therefore,
One can't know with precision
Until the chase around the yard is over.

On Walking Towards a Wall
If you're walking towards a wall
And you decide you want to go to the opposite wall
The sooner you make the correction
The easier it is.
If you wait until you're right up against the wall,
Then you've got to make a sharp turn.

Needless to Say
Needless to say,
The President is correct.
Whatever it was he said.

---

Tomorrow, we will explore the Fiction category.

Juggling and Judging

2006-04-16T18:39:00.000-05:00

I've been immersed in two projects: a memorial urn for a good friend's father; and a jewelry chest for a cancer fundraiser connected with other friends. I deemed the first a success, and the second a near disaster. But self-declared disaster, or not, I delivered the second one, anyway -- to rave reviews. "Guess I don't know my own strength." (Bullwinkle J. Moose)

I remember wandering around the benches at North Bennet Street School, and commenting on all of the beautiful work that I saw in progress. Uniformly, without exception, each craftsperson gravely thanked me and then pointed out the swarm of little flaws that had escaped my notice.

Why do artists and others so frequently dump on their own work? Bob Franke, (http://www.bobfranke.com/ -- a national treasure and greatest songwriter on the planet), references "the existential guilt of the artist" (a phrase I think he attributes to Madeline L'Engel) when talking of this tendency among songwriters. With apologies to Bob, Madeline, and Heidegger, my gloss on the concept is that there is an essential structural limitation to one's authority -- a notion of right or skillful comportment or "being", such that one can never get a clear idea about what right or skillful comportment is. Therefore, one is eternally "wrong". For our artist, this implies that somewhere "out there" exists a grand defining notion of "Art", and the artist is unclear about how well he meets the definition; therefore, he must fall short.

We have an ideal in our heads. We struggle to achieve the ideal, and miss the mark. Therefore, our efforts are a miserable failure.

Heidigger suggests that a sort of salvation can be had if only we take responsibility for our understanding of being -- that which we embody but cannot know. For example, an artist could come to terms with what he believes Art to be, and then act in concert with that belief. In that way, the artist is at least authentic to his own ideals, and recovers some amount of autonomy.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I want to be like this guy, in every thing I do: http://www.sonnyradio.com/chrisbliss.html

So, Heidigger, darling, salvation cannot be achieved in my universe, because I'm all too often trying to measure my efforts against a paradigm that can not be realized.

OK, but on my more productive days, I use a gentler standard. When I declare the first of my projects a success, what I really mean is that the piece I created exactly met my expectations and hopes. The finished piece was delivered on time, met my quality standards, and said exactly what needed saying. I held nothing back. I discovered a few things along the way. The process was healing for my client. The experience enriched my life.

The second project was haunted by expectations. It had no chance of meeting my hopes, because I wanted it to cure cancer. Truly. In my heart of hearts, I felt if I put all the right things into that project, it would somehow heal someone who is probably past healing by any mortal means. Too much for a mere box to achieve. But in the midst of the project, my fingers black with ebony dust, fighting time, and fear, and grief, and artistic angst -- I couldn't see it. When I finally recognized what I was doing, I abandoned the unrealistic hopes instead of the box, and delivered the project anyway. And no one saw that I failed to cure cancer that day. Except me. And now, you.

In "Photographing the World Around You", (a book one should read, if only to appreciate the beautiful writing), Freeman Patterson tells a story about a student who spent all day shooting images in a dead forest, returning "deeply excited, carrying three rolls of exposed film." Patterson describes checking the films in the drying closet, and carefully reviewing the images on a light box -- "ghostly images that powerfully evoked skeletons and a world of the dead -- achieved by means of overexposing the subject matter by two or more shutter speeds". Later, he runs into the student, who claimed that she'd "ruined all the rolls" she shot because she forgot to change the film speed on her camera. When he asked where the films were, she said she'd thrown them in the trash. A horrified Patterson rescued as many slides as he could, then showed them (without comment or attribution) to the rest of the class -- to rave reviews. He finishes by admonishing the reader, thusly:

Don't evaluate the pictures you thought you made; evaluate the ones you actually made.

Evaluation has at least three parts. First, we need to acknowledge the discrepencies, if any, between our intial vision and the finished work. Ok, grieve, grump or celebrate, then move on.

Time to abandon that vision, and look with fresh eyes at what we actually made. To do this, you may need to distance yourself from the work for a while so that you can see it clearly. Put it someplace safe. At this stage, it is best to give a wide berth to fireplaces, trash cans, and sledge hammers. Okay, take a breath and look at it. Can you own it? Does it fit inside what you believe quality work to be? Does it say something [else] to you? Where does it irritate you? Must you tinker with it? (Try not to. ) Where does it surprise you? If someone else made this, what would you think? Aren't you a little bit curious about what someone else might discover when they experience it?

If you can own it, release it. Something happens when we foist our work on the real world -- whether we are satisfied with that work or not. Others view it, interact with it, bring their stories and their symbols in to play with it. Time, light, color, sound will weave themselves into it. And unless you anticipated these variables in the original work (as juggler Chris Bliss must have done for his juggling to be so effective), your intended meaning will be altered, muted or amplified. Some of these alterations will surprise, peeve, vex, or amuse you. Some will resonate, and you'll find yourself thinking, "yes, that was floating around underneath my conscious intent, but it was there". And sometimes you will be right -- the thing is dreadful or, worse, inconsequential. But until you release it, you won't know.

If there is a fourth step, it has to do with time and synchronicity. You may not be there when it happens, but often a finished work of art can evolve.

On one of my installations, a goldleaf flock of fat little birds spirals up a stairwell. On winter mornings, sunlight filters through the chandelier crystals, and splatters rainbows on the walls. It looks as if the birds are hopping over rainbows, or leaving rainbow skid marks everywhere. I'd like to say I knew that that would happen. The truth, though, is that prior to the completion of the installation, I had never seen the sun hit that chandelier, and I was sad that it rarely captured any light. I noticed sunlight dappling the walls directly, and I had thought about playing with these lights and shadows, but it became one of those ideas on the cutting room floor.

Anyway, I first saw the rainbows on a day when I was frazzled and down. And I laughed out loud, ran for my camera, called my husband, and just enjoyed the moment in every way I could.

Ok, so it didn't cure cancer, but it cured what ailed me. Is it art? It meets my definition of art: it moves me from position i to position x everytime I see it. That is all I ask of Art. I want it to take us from where we are, and move us -- even a little bit -- to a new view point.

Struggle to say what you mean to say. Then step back, and learn whether or not you said it. That can't happen if you keep chattering on about how awful the work is. Shut up. Listen. Let the art begin.

Procrastinating

2006-03-06T11:04:00.000-05:00

Here I am, doing just that.

Perhaps to you it appears that I am on task. After all, I'm writing, which is a hard thing for writers to sit down and do. However, I'm supposed to be working on a box due to be delivered on Tuesday. I blew a big hole in an important piece yesterday, and I'm, frankly, terrified to screw up my last piece of that precious wood by making the same mistake. So... I find it easier to do positively anything than take that risk at this moment. In fact, just this morning I've shopped for groceries, cleaned the studio bathroom, tossed out some old files, reorganized my kitchen cabinet and slurped two cups of coffee. Slowly.

I slogged my way to a point where I could face a small part of my true task, and Googled to find a local supplier for a new dovetail bit to replace the one I annihilated yesterday. A procrastinator's dream, Google handed me off to the David Savage's website where I got lost fantasizing about studying with him for a year, and I was gently reminded to get working.

Sharpen three pencils, make one cup of coffee then start, anything but make a start. Once you've started keep it rolling. Now you remember my little girl, you're engaged in that fundamental creative process which is called play. Enjoy it. Have some fun. Get a smile on your face. You can't make joyous furniture if you're feeling miserable. Nobody wants to see your miserable furniture. If you have a particular problem just doodle your way round it. Let the brain run sideways. Make lots and lots and lots and lots of little drawings. It really doesn't matter if what you do is a load of rhubarb. In fact the more rhubarb that you can include at this stage the better, for within that rhubarb there might be something quite exciting. Don't be too critical, don't stop yourself, don't let the fear and the anxiety stop you. David Savage http://www.finefurnituremaker.com

So, I decided to capture this morsel, and then I'll get back to work. Really. And I'll tell you how, so maybe you can get back to work, too.

Procrastination is not a character flaw. It is a technique -- an avoidance technique employed underhandedly by the our dear brains to dance us gently past the graveyard of our denied emotions. Stop and feel. Ask yourself: "Am I angry? afraid? hurt? confused? sad?" Because, truly, procrastination is there to help you avoid exactly that question and you won't get back to work until you find your answer.

I'm actually most of those, today.

I'm angry. I defied common sense and used a chipped router bit, when I know better. I used a machine-cut joint when I wanted to use a hand-cut joint, because I thought the machine would increase the probability that I would stay on schedule. Wrong. I'm now angry that I am likely to blow the schedule AND sacrifice my original vision with no gain.

I'm afraid. I put myself at some potential physical risk. (The bit slipped, and destroyed my work. It could have destroyed me.) I think I know why that happened, but I'm not certain, and I'm a little afraid to try again. I'm not hurt, but I might have been, and my adrenaline flows freely.

I'm confused. I worked through the physics of the problem yesterday, and I'm 88% sure that I know what happened and why. But, now with the schedule likely blown, do I drive two hours to buy another bit? do I cut the joint by hand? do I wait until my (previously ordered) new bits arrive on Wednesday? How do I handle the problem?

I'm sad. I loved that piece of wood. I'm emotionally invested in my now endangered deadline. I wanted to play with the lid & the marquetry today. I wanted to be relaxed about working through the final stages. I don't want to call and say I'll be late. I don't want to make more mistakes by rushing.

See -- a lot is actually going on underneath what appears to be procrastination. And, until I can let go of the anger, responsibly address my fear, and "get a smile on my face" I won't be able to continue. The rest is problemsolving.

Therein, for me, lies the key to recovering my joy. I need to find some small part of the problem that I can solve. Small. Really, really, small. So small that it moves me in the direction of the task without touching directly on the pain. Clean up the saw dust I left on the floor. Find a new bit. Work out a time schedule. Practice a few handcut dovetails in some scraps of that wood. Sample finishes for the final piece. Typically, I will soon find myself sneaking up on the task I was avoiding, and tackling it.

When even these small measures fail, I give my brain some time to "run sideways". The small brain is working on something in the background, and an answer will pop out if I'm gentle. I feed it with information, then I do something off task, joyful, or mindless. I sharpen tools, go ice skating, practice writing with my left hand (try it!), photograph something, write, or take out my sketch book. Perhaps I'll doodle out a way to artistically salvage the work I've done & save my schedule. (Oh, is that what I'm working out?!)

And here I am, doing just that.

Strange Attractors and Artistic Process

2006-02-12T17:54:00.000-05:00

ApXos is easier to type than Applied Chaos -- which is both my company's name, and my state of being. I chose that name for my company ten years ago -- before I had a company. Reading an article about chaos theory applied to the study of electrical impulses across the heart, I put those words together and thought they perfectly described my approach to creating stuff.

In math & physics, chaos theory attempts to model the behavior of systems that appear to be random. Successful models of these systems actually prove to be deterministic (well defined, with no random parameters), and the "chaotic" behavior actually derives from sensitivity to initial conditions, that is, a small change in conditions at the start of the model may prove to have dramatic variations in the direction or outcome of the model. So, even systems we perceive to be chaotic prove to be orderly after a fashion, once we truly understand the model.

While theorists focus on modelling the weather or financial systems or population movements, I've been applying the concept to the artistic process. Truly, from the outside this appears to be a chaotic system. We know that presented with the same opportunity, no two people will draw, sculpt, paint, design, or problem-solve in exactly the same way. Is this symptomatic of a sensitivity to initial conditions? I've been exploring this possibility as an artist, and not as a mathemetician, however, and so you probably won't find many interesting mathematical models popping out of my work here.

What may emerge though, is insight into chaotic processes that surround almost any creative or entreprenurial endeavor. Some we have labelled with angry words like: procrastination, resistance, blocks, laziness, attention deficit. We observe erratic behavior among "creatives" -- engineers who leave their desks to play ping pong during a crisis, woodworkers who waste time sweeping the floor just prior to making mountains of sawdust, writers who suddenly take up ice skating two weeks before deadline, and make the deadline by pulling all-nighters.

I've found that these are actually symptoms of the creative process in action. I've observed these and other symptoms at work in the many different kinds of creative teams I've led or been a member of. The most effective teams and individuals are those who have learned to treat these symptoms as friends. The most troubled are those who internalize the negative words, and denigrate themselves, their work, or their vision and give up before they reach their goals.

It is my hope that sharing my insights (and the insights of others that have helped me) will guide us to the "strange attractors" of the art world -- the beautiful and mysterious patterns of creativity.